sorting out my feelings, trying to find solid ground after a breach in trust .... angry - burning within, hurt - deep and familiar, violated - in a way that frightens me, resentment - in a confused way, rebellious - its the result. it has rocked my world.
but through all the sorting, i still love him. i cant or wont go into detail as to what happened cuz though he didnt protect me, i still feel the need - the responsibility - to protect him.
i have a plaque on my wall that says 'live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly ... leave the rest to God.' its my motto. as i read it now, i realize how vulnerable each of those ideas are. to 'live simply' means setting yourself apart from those who are willing to do most anything to get more. to 'love generously' requires your heart to be wide open ... and tender. to 'care deeply' means you invest yourself in another. to 'speak kindly' means you choose your words carefully, making sure to always be constructive in your communication. the rest is left up to God ... He is the only one who can protect you while you leave yourself so unguarded ... and hold you when it all comes falling down around your feet.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
i have a plaque on my wall that says 'live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly ... leave the rest to God.' its my motto. as i read it now, i realize how vulnerable each of those ideas are. to 'live simply' means setting yourself apart from those who are willing to do most anything to get more. to 'love generously' requires your heart to be wide open ... and tender. to 'care deeply' means you invest yourself in another. to 'speak kindly' means you choose your words carefully, making sure to always be constructive in your communication. the rest is left up to God ... He is the only one who can protect you while you leave yourself so unguarded ... and hold you when it all comes falling down around your feet.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
5 comments:
I don’t know what is going on, just that you are having a hard time. Know that I am praying for you.
thank you. i truly appreciate your prayers.
Your pain sounds very deep, but it seems you are trying to hand this as positively as you can. I know the Lord will honor that. I will be praying for you.
CyberHug,
Kady
Still praying here. You will get through this and yes love hurts. The old saying is you hurt the ones closest to you the most.
my motto: *grow* through it, dont just *go* through it. another, 'throw me lemons, i make lemonade.' in this case, we are both finding gold in the pile of coal. i am working on a post now that explains. thank you for the prayers ... they have been felt.
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