early this morning, my mind opened a can of worms that has been invading my thoughts ever since. if my life ended today, how long would the mark i made on my world last ... would it be eternal?
lately, there have been many people in my life - husband, pastor, counselor, friends - on my back about how many hours i work. they all mean well, their concern is for my health. they are right - i get paid for 40 hours, but i work twice as much ... my employer basically gets a free employee. since we got married 5 months ago, i have found it VERY difficult to balance work with family. the transition has been tough, to say the least. my work hours have decreased, but that just triggers worry that i am not 'cutting it' at work anymore. why? well, its obvious that i am not able to maintain the workload on half the hours ... so i am falling further and further behind everyday. i hate the feeling that i am letting the team down ... and i have that feeling everyday.
so, this morning, i was thinking about where i invest the most of me - will it count and, if so, for how long? there have been many times (more often than not lately) that i have felt very bored with my job. there are times that it still challenges me, but mostly the challenge is just the workload. my friend and co-worker told me yesterday that it would take at LEAST 3 people to fill my position. that is not a credit to me ... it is stupid and SO not efficient to allow an employer to put so much on me. but, i allow it everywhere i go. so what is the answer ... start somewhere else? perhaps. but, what if i put that much effort into something that i own ... something that fed my passion ... something that built my future ... instead of somebody elses?
this is not the first time i have considered starting my own business. i know the risks, difficulties and downfalls. BUT, i also know with the right support, focus and discipline (mental) - it is SO doable. my husband becoming more and more confident in his role as leader adds the missing component that has discouraged me in the past from pursuing an enterprise.
there are a few other things that have just seemed to appear in our lives that would work in our favor if we decided to step out on this limb of faith. exciting to think about ...
if this post bored you because there was no mention of spanking ... well read between the lines. :) its there!
1 comment:
When you are gone, you won't be remembered for what a good job you did working for someone else. You will be remembered for being absent. Read more, go on picnics and trips to the zoo. Do fun things with your family and enjoy life.
Putting your time and energy into something you care about? Something that is yours? yep. That is worth while.
Good luck! ! !
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